Afiya's Summer Sandle Pledge

As a member of the Cute Girl Sisterhood, I pledge to
follow the Rules when I wear sandals and other
open-toe shoes:

I promise to always wear sandals that fit. My toes
will not hang over and touch the ground, nor will my
heels spill over the backs.

And the sides and tops of my feet will not pudge out
between the straps.

I will go polish-free or vow to keep the polish fresh,
intact and chip-free.

I will not cheat and just touch up my big toe.

I will sand down any mounds of skin before they turn
hard and yellow.

I will shave the hairs off my big toe.

I won't wear pantyhose even if my misinformed
girlfriend, coworker, other, sister tells me the toe
seam really will stay under my toes if I tuck it
there.

If a strap breaks, I won't duct-tape, pin, glue or
tuck it back into place hoping it will stay put. I
will get my shoe fixed or toss it.

I will not live in corn denial; rather I will lean on
my good friend Dr. Scholl's if my feet need him.

I will resist the urge to buy jelly shoes at Payless
for the low, low price of $4.99 even if my feet are
small enough to fit into the kids' sizes. This is out
of concern for my safety, and the safety of
others. No one can walk properly when standing in a
pool of sweat and I would hate to take someone down
with me as I fall and break my ankle.

I will take my toe ring off toward the end of the day
if my toes swell and begin to look like Vienna
sausages.

I will be brutally honest with my
girlfriend/sister/ coworker when she asks me if her
feet are too ugly to wear sandals. Someone has to tell
her that her toes are as long as my fingers and no
sandal makes creepy feet look good.

I will promise if I wear flip flops that I will ensure
that they actually flip and flop, making the correct
noise while walking and I will swear NOT to slide or
drag my feet while wearing them.

I will promise to go my local nail salon at least once
per season and have a real pedicure (they are about
$35 and worth EVERY penny).

I will promise to throw away any white/off-white
sandals that show
signs of wear... nothing is tackier than dirty white
sandals.

This is my pledge.